


Not Your Responsibility

by reenjames



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Crying, Cuddles, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Hugs, Pep Talk, cuddles fix everything, hugs make everything better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-08
Updated: 2017-12-08
Packaged: 2019-02-12 01:43:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12948585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reenjames/pseuds/reenjames
Summary: In a moment of reflection, Mark is having a hard time reconciling that he can't personally be present to help all his fans. You take the time to help him realize that his emotions are what matter most.





	Not Your Responsibility

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys enjoy! This is my first story I've gotten up the courage to post in a million years ago. I had the feels after watching some of Mark's videos and had to get it out!

As you turned the key and pushed in your apartment door, you felt yourself decompressing from a stressful day. After being out of work for a few months, you decided to get your life in some sort of order and get a job. Unfortunately, the only short-term job you could find was at a call center. For better or worse, your _wonderful_ job taught you that your patience wasn’t as considerable as you’d previously thought; that’s why you intended to make this weekend about you. And Mark. Preferably you and Mark. Together. Doing what, who knows, but you were going to make it happen.

You threw down your bag on the table and mentally planned your night: 1) make tea, 2) devour the saltiest snack in the pantry, 3) put on the comfiest clothes, 4) plop down on the couch, 5) don’t move until absolutely necessary. Mark should like that plan, too, most likely. You resolve to run that by him when you found him. Where was that man anyway?

Picking up your favorite mug and turning on the electric kettle, you leaned against the counter, closed your eyes, and sighed bodily. You heard faint, frustrated groans coming from the hall followed by an exasperated scream. Ah, there’s Mark. Shaking your head, you replaced the tea bag you had chosen and plucked some chamomile from the box instead. You poured the boiling water into the cup and carried the steeping tea with you as you made your way to Mark, who was still making aggravated noises behind the door.

When there was a lull in noise, you carefully opened the door. Mark was sat at his chair with his head leaned back, eyes closed tight. You could see that he was tense. You set down the cup, furrowing your brow when Mark didn’t flinch. You rounded the chair and brushed back the hair across his forehead, then placed a gentle kiss on the uncovered skin. Resting your arms on the back of the chair, Mark finally opened his eyes and looked at you. He looked...done. Completely drained.

You gave him a small smile and tilted your head, “How are you?”

Mark sighed softly through his nose, “I missed you.”

“Uh, huh,” you quipped with a smirk. “And you’re avoiding the question.”

Mark turned the chair around and pulled you towards him, your knees pressed against the edge of the chair. He hugged your midsection and pressed his face into your stomach. You could feel his hot breath through your shirt as you rubbed soft, small circles on his back. Mark sat back as he let his hands slide down to your hips and looked nervous as his thumbs knead your hipbones. Giving him an encouraging smile, you cupped his cheek and ran your thumb across his cheekbone, relishing the feeling of him leaning into your palm. You felt your heart flutter and fall at the same time. He was rarely like this and your heart couldn’t help, but feel conflicted.

“What do you have on your mind?” you gently asked. When he was silent for a few moments too long, you lifted his eyes to yours with a hand under his chin, “What do you need?”

“I...don’t know. I just-,” He took a shuddering breath and averted his eyes from yours before a tear slowly rolled down his cheek. You swiped it away without a second thought and dropped your hands to his.

“Oh, hon,” You smiled and gripped his hand, gently pulling him to a standing position. The tea that you’d brought him to relieve the typical video game induced stress sat on his desk forgotten; he needed something a little more tender than that and you were happy to oblige. Leading him down the hall to the bedroom, you encouraged him to lie down. He looked grateful, settling onto his head onto the pillow as you laid facing him. You covered the pair of you with the quilt and wriggled closer to Mark so that your foreheads were almost touching.

“I just don’t know what to do,” Mark started, tears slowly leaking onto the pillow. “There are just s-so many p-people that need me and there’s no way that I can be there for everyone. I’m only one person who has n-no idea what I’m doing. How can I help anyone? I-I feel like I’m letting them down. I should just st-”

“Mark, stop that...,” you stopped his rambling before he could continue any further. You scooted up in bed and gently urged him to come even closer to you. He was surprisingly pliant and seemed to melt into your embrace as he nuzzled into your collarbone. You held him tighter as you tried to soothe his trembling body, smoothing your hands down his shoulders. “You have nothing to worry about. Think of how many people you’ve helped by simply being your kind, genuine self. You have, what, almost 19 _million_ people subscribed to you? I know you want to be there personally for everyone single one of them, but, sweetheart, it’s physically impossible.”

“Yeah, but I should be -”

“Mark,” you interrupted him again. “Breathe. I know this may seem like you’ve done something wrong, but you haven’t. Trust me. Their emotions are not your responsibility. But it is _my_ responsibility to make sure your emotions don’t get the best of you. You’re concerned that you’re not there for your fans, but you are there for them. When people watch your videos, you’re with them in their homes, in their thoughts, and in their hearts. They know that you can’t personally reach out to all of them and they don’t expect you to.”

You finished your thoughts and slowed your motions on his back. Mark’s breathing had started to regulate while you were talking and, by the time you pulled back to face him, his brown eyes were bloodshot and red-rimmed, but tears no longer ran down his cheeks. He gifted you a sweet smile as he searched your eyes.

“You always know just what I need to hear,” he whispered as he stretched to give you a chaste kiss on the lips. You returned the smile and sighed, hugging him close once again.

“I love you, too, you big goof,” you teased as you closed your eyes and your fingers played along his shoulder blade. You felt Mark’s body relax and his breaths grew longer.

Turns out those weekend plans you had will suit you two just fine.

**Author's Note:**

> Some of the advice the reader gives is something I wish someone had told me a long time ago. Drop a comment if you feel like talking! Thank you for reading! I really appreciate it! :)


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